Oct 8, 2025
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The Apologist: A Column Scrutinizing Idiosyncratic Films
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Jean-Luc Godard regarding Quentin Tarantino: "He chose the title of one of my worst films to name his production company [anglicizing “Bande á part” to A Band Apart]. He would have done better to give me some money."
Norman Bates, within Hitchcock's black comedy, Psycho (1960): "I wish... people could apologize for other people."
We believe it would behoove all of us to equitably excuse filmmakers for many of their cinematic trespasses.
Upon achieving dissatisfaction with a particular project, one must keep the following in mind:
It's almost impossible for a director to not piss off some uptight demographic. And, these hard-working semi-innocents are victimized by nosy producers, snotty thesps, fickle film-goers and nature itself.
We admonish those who knock ‘Shack Aesthetics’, from ‘The Whole Shootin' Match’ (1978) with Lou Perryman as Lloyd, directed by Eagle Pennell. photo: courtesy E. Pennell Then there are opinionated and unpredictable writers who negatively critique indubitably stupendous projects primarily in service of half-assed, half-witted ego gratification, if not sad confusion. It's rather deplorable that after watching that which is wonderful, one is then forced to wade through a plethora of nitpicking reviews.
Those who contemplate a movie as a condensed novel with a very direct expression of a complicated plot are certainly a component of that which is problematic, while failing to understand the range of what can be cinematic. What if the meaning of a movie is no more important than the audio-visual spectacle in which it is entangled?
Inspired filmmakers will subvert Marshall McLuhan's edict that film is a "hot" medium that presents maximal data in high definition, requiring minimal interpretation. Invariably, fluid product allows each watcher to luxuriate in personal interpretation.
A picture's audio-visual continuity allows one to enter a world that is packed with oddly achieved moods, going beyond mere plotting, which is exemplified in the LONG VISUAL SCENES of "2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968).
Likewise, DAVID LYNCH’S "Eraserhead" (1977) along with "Mulholland Drive" (2001), the spectacular "Twin Peaks: The Return" (2017) and much of Michelangelo Antonioni's work, especially "L'Avventura" (1960), "Blow Up" (1966) and "The Passenger" (1975) all contain spectacular abstract flavor. Such is the case to a certain extent regarding Quentin Tarantino's latest "hang out movie", "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood" (2019).
* * *
Did Ed Wood Jr. influence David Lynch? From the former’s 'Night of the Ghouls' (1959). photo: courtesy E. Wood Very specifically, we claim no apologias necessary. However, those narrow of mind may differ. To wit: Some severely deranged reviews for your pleasure from “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood” (OUATIH) IMDb Users:
"Forty-five percent of this movie was shots of dirty feet and people walking or driving. Q.T. and his foot fetish is disgusting and distracting to view on screen."
"Boring, boring, boring and violence."
"Do you think people are stupid? No, you are stupid with such crap movies."
"It was good watching Brad Pitt kill these people but that's not what happened, unfortunately."
"Tarantino constantly drops the names of actors, movies and series, but for what? Am I supposed to know them all?"
"I'm not a fan of the director, I find his movies to be like someone on acid directing a film!"
"Filthy 'hippy' characters made me feel dirty just sitting in my chair. Made no sense at all, didn't know what the hell was going on!!!"
"I really hate Tarantino, so I had zero hopes for it."
"Nobody acted good in the movie."
"I wish he did not make this movie. There is no story. You just watch old times like a boring documentary."
Imagine that within 'Once Upon a Time in Hollywood', Gypsy (Lena Dunham) restrains a glib, invasive Pussycat (Margaret Qualley), as she mockingly instructs Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) to "Sniff my foot, stuntman, sniff my foot." photo: courtesy Sony Pictures"One of the worst movies ever. Not for normal people."
"Every scene is the same. A lot of the characters don't even fit to the story. Also, the dialogue and conversation is really cheap."
"Let's be clear, LA is a hellhole and not everything is fun and glamorous in Hollywood."
"Tarantino's fetish for THOUSANDS of pop cultural references and his childhood's favorite songs, shows and music are EXHAUSTING."
"Why must quentin tarantito [sic] insist on changing history? He needs to write something original or stick to what actually happened."
"It's just ‘60s nostalgia and, considering most people alive today didn't experience the ‘60s, what is the point?"
"This movie is the second worst movie I've ever seen in my life."
"Tarantino's feet fetish dropped the ball! In whole film we see feet from different states and angles, which is unpleasant!"
"A very boring movie, portraying most characters as stupid people."
"When Mr. Tarantino cannot fill a movie with blood and bones, this is what remains of his genius."
Tortured, snuff filmmaker Mark Lewis, played by Carl/Karlheinz Böhm within Michael Powell's 'Peeping Tom' (1960), nuzzles his instrument, an unusual excuse for a muse. photo: courtesy Sony Pictures"Snooty movie making for the sake of snoot."
"It's one of the most boring movies ever created in the history of movies around the world. With stupid over the top acting as usual. Stupid QT!"
"To anyone who says this is good, you are insane."
"LIES! The action never begins!"
We, however, tautologically claim “OUATIH”, as opposed to merely describing the causation inherent in a series of events, provides an intimacy within the mise-en-scène. A great film may tell a story, but an important aspect of any production is that it also provides an option to engage with a unique world.
Legion are those who misunderstand QT, suspecting he will solipsistically wallow in his silly obsessions, while in fact, he's merely trying to share the thrill he enjoys relative to various aspects of topical and vintage pop conventions.
* * *
We believe every "Z" movie—our endearment FOR A CINEMATIC FORM WHICH TRANSCENDS A AND B—boasts a consciously achieved moment, whether via producer, scriptwriter, cinematographer, director or art director, that is auspicious. And we're prepared to apologize, relative to countless minimally production-valued films, that have been unfairly rebuked, with great vigor.
Colander v. Semiotics: In Edward Dein’s 'Shack Out On 101' (1955), Slob (Lee Marvin) stares holes in Kotty's (Terry Moore) visage. photo: courtesy E. DeinSo, Why Not Go for the Obvious
"Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1957) Ed Wood Jr
Considering the believability and physical integrity of the sets alone, one could describe the filmmakers in-question as bordering on imbecility. Almost every other conceivable element in the movie is also bewildering. Circa 1980, Michael Medved dubbed it “the worst film ever made.”
Yet, perhaps the power of cinema is to provide an experience impossible to enjoy any other way. Imagine the cheapo turn-on inherent in viewing a mental auteur's interpretation of a glue-sniffing ten-year old's fever dream. Every production deficit provides a sublime participation opportunity, within a fabulously cut-rate microcosm.
Could it be probable that Wood basically was in thrall to a fantastic Shack Aesthetic?!?
And, to be found are various—to utilize an overused label—icons. Vampira, AKA Maila Nurmi, plodding zombie-like is an unforgettable pop image; likewise, Bela Lugosi with-scowl is seared into the collective consciousness along with Criswell and his unconvincing attempt at impressive enunciating. Then, there's Tor Johnson, whose mug was popularized via “Plan 9”, became the basis for myriad Halloween masks.
All of these famous thesps create a mood that's a mile deep while lending great and ostensibly expensive color.
* * *
Andy Warhol was interviewed by Gene Swenson in 1966.
AW: Uh, well, I guess I'm influenced by everybody, but, well, I like the way Godard works just because I think he's bringing television out to the movies and think that's what we're trying to sometimes do.
GS: Why is it you make these films?
AW: Ummm, well, it's just easier to do. It's easier to do than painting. Uuuuuh the camera has a motor and you just turn it on and walk away.
GS: Is there anything special you're trying to say in these films?
AW: No.
* * *
Only intellectuals will be allowed to sell Notebooks on Cinéma. photo: courtesy JL Godard"Breathless" (1960), Jean-Luc Godard's first feature, in concert with Michelangelo Antonioni's L'Avventura (also 1960), are both considered to be ground zero for a genesis of modern film grammar.
The former is the tale of two young, amoral existentialists, Michel and Patricia. Their respective, relative lack of ethics, may be somewhat open to interpretation.
The scene featuring a fem vendor of legendary French magazine, Cahiers du Cinéma (Notebooks on Cinéma), was warning Michel to ditch NY Herald Tribune dealer Patricia, who might present a danger, for a less psychotic chick. Simultaneously some New Wave fetish was provided in the form of picturing the magazine, which Godard, Traffaut and other such directors would critique films within.
* * *
Who would wanna blame Roman Polanski for embracing such a royal gas—confabulating cute and cutting Nicholson's nose in "Chinatown" (1974)—that he couldn't resist starring in "The Tenant" (1976) and throwing himself out of an elevated window twice. . . ?
And who could imagine that something as banal as an "apartment trilogy", (consisting of "Repulsion" (1965), "Rosemary's Baby" (1968), and “The Tenant”) could so thoroughly threaten one's mental anodyne?
* * *
"Let me see your toes. Toes are important in a woman. Don't laugh," says Michel Poiccard (Jean-Paul Belmondo) to Patricia Franchini (Jean Seberg) in “Breathless" by Godard. (Could this explain something?)
Michel Poiccard to taxi driver: "Never mind the pedestrians! Just hurry up! Overtake that Peugeot! Don't change gears! Eyes on the road! We'll be right back." (Not.)
* * *
Umpteen HitchCult difficulties sadly complicate our fandom. Of course, we're all aware that Donald Spoto, one of HITCHCOCK’S primary US champions, went on to unearth singularly unsavory behavioral failings.
Stunning Method Acting via, who'd uh thunk it, Arch Hall Jr. as serial killer Charles Tibbs. Takes place mainly in an old auto wrecking yard & snake pit. Written & directed for a 1960 release by the extremely unprolific James Landis. photo: courtesy J LandisWe must declare however, that the biographer would seem to have harbored an ax to grind, claiming for instance that Hitch was incapable of sustaining friendships, which would appear to be a false statement. Yet, similar to countless of his characters our director was both a charming villain and a compromised hero.
Unlike the equally morphically unusual Orson Welles, Hitch was preoccupied with his weight and concomitantly managed to therefore suffer romantically. Should he have found sufficient "guts" to simply ignore a not completely unacceptable physiological condition, he could've found himself buried in groupies. Alma's response to his acting upon such a thing, however, would've most likely been too threatening for him to authentically contemplate.
Ostensibly, not content to sublimate his feelings of physical inferiority while simply torturing characters, he formed means in which he could incorporate his overpaid and stuck-up actors in the realization of cruel fancies. Evidently, he never perved upon the person of Kim Novak, although he did find excuses to repeatedly dunk her in the studio tank during the devising of "Vertigo" (1958). And who could forget Hitch's two leads (Robert Donat and Madeleine Carroll) being handcuffed together during the fabrication of "39 Steps" (1935), while waiting for the "lost key" to be located?
Quite possibly the Master of Suspense subscribed to an exhibitionistic form of masochism, relative to his excessive bulk and supposed lack of bravery. He often would find any obscure reason to feature a young, strong man with his shirt off who's expected to be juxtaposed with the image of Hitchcock himself via cameo, within many of his projects. In the abysmally underrated "To Catch A Thief" (1955) he also has the youngest of the two buff characters that are clad in swimming trunks execute a chin up. (Are we encouraged to imagine our director surrealistically attempting such a feat?)
One of the many younger script writers he brought home for dinner, who was typically ignored in favor of a nubile wife, could be paraphrased as stating, "If Hitch had too much wine, he would take my wife's hand in his, look her in the eye and bellyache that he was 'just a big fat slob'."
As with any good masochistic fantasist, Hitch was open minded regarding homosexuality. Whenever working with such an individual, he was fascinated by any gay gossip he could and definitely would extract.
And he greatly enjoyed torturing any male thespians, hetero- and homo- sexual. Montgomery Clift made the mistake of being terrified to appear in “Rope” (1948) as a gay thrill killer, being deeply closeted, especially where Hollywood was concerned, leading him to turn down the offer. Soon he found himself sensitively wandering all over Quebec City wearing what appeared to be a long housecoat within "I Confess" (1953).
Admonitory cautioning quoted by 'Hell's Highway: The True Story of Highway Safety Films' (2003) written and directed by Bret Wood. photo: courtesy B. WoodHitch found countless excuses for his male characters to find themselves holding a woman's purse. During "Dial M for Murder" (1954), one will hear Police Inspector Hubbard, strikingly played by John Williams, admonish his inferior that he's risking arrest, by delivering our heroine's handbag while wearing it on his wrist.
We doubt that there's enough time in the universe to adequately explain Alfred Hitchcock's psyche and nearly pathologically intertwined filmmaking genius.
Importantly, Tippi Hedren has forgiven her tormentor, of whom we could expect, never supplied his greatly called for apology.
* * *
The Apologist: "Beatitude Valedictions from the Vortex Room, San Francisco." (Wishing our 2 fave shack girl catalysts, HMM & JAG, nothing but rattling tin can cantatas.)
The Apologist is channeled via Dave D Og Swan, an underground filmmaker and garage group agitator who can be reached
Posted on Oct 02, 2025 - 02:14 AM
Jean-Luc Godard regarding Quentin Tarantino: "He chose the title of one of my worst films to name his production company [anglicizing “Bande á part” to A Band Apart]. He would have done better to give me some money."
Norman Bates, within Hitchcock's black comedy, Psycho (1960): "I wish... people could apologize for other people."
We believe it would behoove all of us to equitably excuse filmmakers for many of their cinematic trespasses.
Upon achieving dissatisfaction with a particular project, one must keep the following in mind:
It's almost impossible for a director to not piss off some uptight demographic. And, these hard-working semi-innocents are victimized by nosy producers, snotty thesps, fickle film-goers and nature itself.
We admonish those who knock ‘Shack Aesthetics’, from ‘The Whole Shootin' Match’ (1978) with Lou Perryman as Lloyd, directed by Eagle Pennell. photo: courtesy E. Pennell Those who contemplate a movie as a condensed novel with a very direct expression of a complicated plot are certainly a component of that which is problematic, while failing to understand the range of what can be cinematic. What if the meaning of a movie is no more important than the audio-visual spectacle in which it is entangled?
Inspired filmmakers will subvert Marshall McLuhan's edict that film is a "hot" medium that presents maximal data in high definition, requiring minimal interpretation. Invariably, fluid product allows each watcher to luxuriate in personal interpretation.
A picture's audio-visual continuity allows one to enter a world that is packed with oddly achieved moods, going beyond mere plotting, which is exemplified in the LONG VISUAL SCENES of "2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968).
Likewise, DAVID LYNCH’S "Eraserhead" (1977) along with "Mulholland Drive" (2001), the spectacular "Twin Peaks: The Return" (2017) and much of Michelangelo Antonioni's work, especially "L'Avventura" (1960), "Blow Up" (1966) and "The Passenger" (1975) all contain spectacular abstract flavor. Such is the case to a certain extent regarding Quentin Tarantino's latest "hang out movie", "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood" (2019).
* * *
Did Ed Wood Jr. influence David Lynch? From the former’s 'Night of the Ghouls' (1959). photo: courtesy E. Wood "Forty-five percent of this movie was shots of dirty feet and people walking or driving. Q.T. and his foot fetish is disgusting and distracting to view on screen."
"Boring, boring, boring and violence."
"Do you think people are stupid? No, you are stupid with such crap movies."
"It was good watching Brad Pitt kill these people but that's not what happened, unfortunately."
"Tarantino constantly drops the names of actors, movies and series, but for what? Am I supposed to know them all?"
"I'm not a fan of the director, I find his movies to be like someone on acid directing a film!"
"Filthy 'hippy' characters made me feel dirty just sitting in my chair. Made no sense at all, didn't know what the hell was going on!!!"
"I really hate Tarantino, so I had zero hopes for it."
"Nobody acted good in the movie."
"I wish he did not make this movie. There is no story. You just watch old times like a boring documentary."
Imagine that within 'Once Upon a Time in Hollywood', Gypsy (Lena Dunham) restrains a glib, invasive Pussycat (Margaret Qualley), as she mockingly instructs Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) to "Sniff my foot, stuntman, sniff my foot." photo: courtesy Sony Pictures"Every scene is the same. A lot of the characters don't even fit to the story. Also, the dialogue and conversation is really cheap."
"Let's be clear, LA is a hellhole and not everything is fun and glamorous in Hollywood."
"Tarantino's fetish for THOUSANDS of pop cultural references and his childhood's favorite songs, shows and music are EXHAUSTING."
"Why must quentin tarantito [sic] insist on changing history? He needs to write something original or stick to what actually happened."
"It's just ‘60s nostalgia and, considering most people alive today didn't experience the ‘60s, what is the point?"
"This movie is the second worst movie I've ever seen in my life."
"Tarantino's feet fetish dropped the ball! In whole film we see feet from different states and angles, which is unpleasant!"
"A very boring movie, portraying most characters as stupid people."
"When Mr. Tarantino cannot fill a movie with blood and bones, this is what remains of his genius."
Tortured, snuff filmmaker Mark Lewis, played by Carl/Karlheinz Böhm within Michael Powell's 'Peeping Tom' (1960), nuzzles his instrument, an unusual excuse for a muse. photo: courtesy Sony Pictures"It's one of the most boring movies ever created in the history of movies around the world. With stupid over the top acting as usual. Stupid QT!"
"To anyone who says this is good, you are insane."
"LIES! The action never begins!"
We, however, tautologically claim “OUATIH”, as opposed to merely describing the causation inherent in a series of events, provides an intimacy within the mise-en-scène. A great film may tell a story, but an important aspect of any production is that it also provides an option to engage with a unique world.
Legion are those who misunderstand QT, suspecting he will solipsistically wallow in his silly obsessions, while in fact, he's merely trying to share the thrill he enjoys relative to various aspects of topical and vintage pop conventions.
* * *
We believe every "Z" movie—our endearment FOR A CINEMATIC FORM WHICH TRANSCENDS A AND B—boasts a consciously achieved moment, whether via producer, scriptwriter, cinematographer, director or art director, that is auspicious. And we're prepared to apologize, relative to countless minimally production-valued films, that have been unfairly rebuked, with great vigor.
Colander v. Semiotics: In Edward Dein’s 'Shack Out On 101' (1955), Slob (Lee Marvin) stares holes in Kotty's (Terry Moore) visage. photo: courtesy E. Dein"Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1957) Ed Wood Jr
Considering the believability and physical integrity of the sets alone, one could describe the filmmakers in-question as bordering on imbecility. Almost every other conceivable element in the movie is also bewildering. Circa 1980, Michael Medved dubbed it “the worst film ever made.”
Yet, perhaps the power of cinema is to provide an experience impossible to enjoy any other way. Imagine the cheapo turn-on inherent in viewing a mental auteur's interpretation of a glue-sniffing ten-year old's fever dream. Every production deficit provides a sublime participation opportunity, within a fabulously cut-rate microcosm.
Could it be probable that Wood basically was in thrall to a fantastic Shack Aesthetic?!?
And, to be found are various—to utilize an overused label—icons. Vampira, AKA Maila Nurmi, plodding zombie-like is an unforgettable pop image; likewise, Bela Lugosi with-scowl is seared into the collective consciousness along with Criswell and his unconvincing attempt at impressive enunciating. Then, there's Tor Johnson, whose mug was popularized via “Plan 9”, became the basis for myriad Halloween masks.
All of these famous thesps create a mood that's a mile deep while lending great and ostensibly expensive color.
* * *
Andy Warhol was interviewed by Gene Swenson in 1966.
AW: Uh, well, I guess I'm influenced by everybody, but, well, I like the way Godard works just because I think he's bringing television out to the movies and think that's what we're trying to sometimes do.
GS: Why is it you make these films?
AW: Ummm, well, it's just easier to do. It's easier to do than painting. Uuuuuh the camera has a motor and you just turn it on and walk away.
GS: Is there anything special you're trying to say in these films?
AW: No.
* * *
Only intellectuals will be allowed to sell Notebooks on Cinéma. photo: courtesy JL GodardThe former is the tale of two young, amoral existentialists, Michel and Patricia. Their respective, relative lack of ethics, may be somewhat open to interpretation.
The scene featuring a fem vendor of legendary French magazine, Cahiers du Cinéma (Notebooks on Cinéma), was warning Michel to ditch NY Herald Tribune dealer Patricia, who might present a danger, for a less psychotic chick. Simultaneously some New Wave fetish was provided in the form of picturing the magazine, which Godard, Traffaut and other such directors would critique films within.
* * *
Who would wanna blame Roman Polanski for embracing such a royal gas—confabulating cute and cutting Nicholson's nose in "Chinatown" (1974)—that he couldn't resist starring in "The Tenant" (1976) and throwing himself out of an elevated window twice. . . ?
And who could imagine that something as banal as an "apartment trilogy", (consisting of "Repulsion" (1965), "Rosemary's Baby" (1968), and “The Tenant”) could so thoroughly threaten one's mental anodyne?
* * *
"Let me see your toes. Toes are important in a woman. Don't laugh," says Michel Poiccard (Jean-Paul Belmondo) to Patricia Franchini (Jean Seberg) in “Breathless" by Godard. (Could this explain something?)
Michel Poiccard to taxi driver: "Never mind the pedestrians! Just hurry up! Overtake that Peugeot! Don't change gears! Eyes on the road! We'll be right back." (Not.)
* * *
Umpteen HitchCult difficulties sadly complicate our fandom. Of course, we're all aware that Donald Spoto, one of HITCHCOCK’S primary US champions, went on to unearth singularly unsavory behavioral failings.
Stunning Method Acting via, who'd uh thunk it, Arch Hall Jr. as serial killer Charles Tibbs. Takes place mainly in an old auto wrecking yard & snake pit. Written & directed for a 1960 release by the extremely unprolific James Landis. photo: courtesy J LandisUnlike the equally morphically unusual Orson Welles, Hitch was preoccupied with his weight and concomitantly managed to therefore suffer romantically. Should he have found sufficient "guts" to simply ignore a not completely unacceptable physiological condition, he could've found himself buried in groupies. Alma's response to his acting upon such a thing, however, would've most likely been too threatening for him to authentically contemplate.
Ostensibly, not content to sublimate his feelings of physical inferiority while simply torturing characters, he formed means in which he could incorporate his overpaid and stuck-up actors in the realization of cruel fancies. Evidently, he never perved upon the person of Kim Novak, although he did find excuses to repeatedly dunk her in the studio tank during the devising of "Vertigo" (1958). And who could forget Hitch's two leads (Robert Donat and Madeleine Carroll) being handcuffed together during the fabrication of "39 Steps" (1935), while waiting for the "lost key" to be located?
Quite possibly the Master of Suspense subscribed to an exhibitionistic form of masochism, relative to his excessive bulk and supposed lack of bravery. He often would find any obscure reason to feature a young, strong man with his shirt off who's expected to be juxtaposed with the image of Hitchcock himself via cameo, within many of his projects. In the abysmally underrated "To Catch A Thief" (1955) he also has the youngest of the two buff characters that are clad in swimming trunks execute a chin up. (Are we encouraged to imagine our director surrealistically attempting such a feat?)
One of the many younger script writers he brought home for dinner, who was typically ignored in favor of a nubile wife, could be paraphrased as stating, "If Hitch had too much wine, he would take my wife's hand in his, look her in the eye and bellyache that he was 'just a big fat slob'."
As with any good masochistic fantasist, Hitch was open minded regarding homosexuality. Whenever working with such an individual, he was fascinated by any gay gossip he could and definitely would extract.
And he greatly enjoyed torturing any male thespians, hetero- and homo- sexual. Montgomery Clift made the mistake of being terrified to appear in “Rope” (1948) as a gay thrill killer, being deeply closeted, especially where Hollywood was concerned, leading him to turn down the offer. Soon he found himself sensitively wandering all over Quebec City wearing what appeared to be a long housecoat within "I Confess" (1953).
Admonitory cautioning quoted by 'Hell's Highway: The True Story of Highway Safety Films' (2003) written and directed by Bret Wood. photo: courtesy B. WoodWe doubt that there's enough time in the universe to adequately explain Alfred Hitchcock's psyche and nearly pathologically intertwined filmmaking genius.
Importantly, Tippi Hedren has forgiven her tormentor, of whom we could expect, never supplied his greatly called for apology.
* * *
The Apologist: "Beatitude Valedictions from the Vortex Room, San Francisco." (Wishing our 2 fave shack girl catalysts, HMM & JAG, nothing but rattling tin can cantatas.)
The Apologist is channeled via Dave D Og Swan, an underground filmmaker and garage group agitator who can be reached
Posted on Oct 02, 2025 - 02:14 AM
